Saturday, June 28, 2008

Who's Who: the Friends, Frenemies and Fictions that Molly writes about

Who's Q.? What's your connection to Jaime? and Who the heck is this Colt person you keep going on about? are all questions that I'm getting more and more. Which is why I wrote this "Who's Who" for Stuffies. First, find the person's name--the list is alphabetized by their first letter. If it's hot linked, clicking on their name will take you to the archives for every post I've ever written about them. Sometimes I have included links to their profiles on other websites. This list is always being updated.

A.: a housemate: her family owns the Manor (a big fancy house I lived in during the summer of 2008), so we have to be nice to her.

The Atheist: a friend: the nihilist that got away. Hooked up briefly with Avril during the summer of 2008.

Alex: A Stuffer Boy: a long-distance runner who fantasizes about getting a belly. Currently he is in Japan, so Molly is encouraging him online.

Alexis Boone: a dream: one of Molly's first hopeless crushes. They haven't spoken for years, though Molly dreams about him occasionally.

Avril: a housemate: The body of a model, the wardrobe of a fashionista and the voice of a truck driver, she smokes endless cigarettes and stomps up and down the stairs of the Manor with more vigor than someone twice her size. Hooked up briefly with the Atheist. Even with all of this she's a great friend and Molly would rather have her for a housemate than anyone else. [Edit: I don't live in the Manor any more, but she and I still hang out occasionally.]

BBB: Bloated Belly Boy: a stuffer boy from the UK, he's called BBB for short. He enjoys showing off his latest stuffings for Molly, but the two of them have never met IRL. Molly is his online encourager. He has a Myspace.

The BHM: Molly's no-longer-current, real-life lover. Flippantly described as "a big fat love machine" by Cee, he's hung like a bull, makes love like the Karma Sutra and weighs in at an estimated 300 pounds. Also a charming conversationalist with a love for graphic novels. Fears spiders.

Candy: A plus-size model who Jaime had a brief affair with in 2008. You can read the start of their adventures here. She and Molly have never met.

Cassi: a friend: a lesbian. Tightest with Quin and Avril.

Cee: a stuffer boy: a gentleman from the UK. He's a whip smart comedian who's so posh he stuffs with tonic water. When he and Molly aren't talking about their shared fetish, he's recommending awesome videos or making fun of Americans. They have never met IRL, and talk exclusively over IM.

The Colt: Molly's internet boyfriend, a beautiful androgyny with the power to drink almost a gallon. Currently he is attending school in The State On The Other Side of The Country, but he and Molly hope to have their first face-to-face meeting soon.

Constantine: the boy that taught Molly how to fuck. She thinks of him as an enemy, and they haven't spoken since 2007.

J.: a housemate:One of Molly's housemates at the Mansion in 2008, he's quiet, cooks well and thinks too much. He seems to be more perverted than Molly is sometimes, but he's harmless.

Jaime: The Valiant Bastard. Online he is intelligent, good-looking (one of the few BHMs or “softies” that Molly has ever been attracted to), quick-witted, and fond of B-movie style cyber sex. In real life he is the same, only clumsier, drunker, and more stubborn. They are not dating, and take too much delight in being snarky to each other to ever do so. He went on a New York City adventure with Molly in spring 2008, and has since had his own adventures with the BBW Candy. He has profiles on Myspace and Fantasy Feeder.

Max: a housemate: Looks like Max von Sydow, but you can't tell he's gay until you see the wicked gleam in his eye. He's as snarky as Jaime, only every now and then he'll do something nice like bring Molly a fresh slice of avocado while she's holed up in my room writing the next great fetish novel. One of Molly's housemates at the Mansion during the summer of 2008, he moved to the other side of the country from her, but the two still talk via IM.

The Naked Trombonist: Formerly the Ska Geek. A childhood friend of Molly's, who lives in another tiny little town. Molly sees him when she goes to visit "home" and has since discovered that he also has fetishes, though she is leery about disclosing to him her own. They are not dating, though they have wondered about the possibility of having casual sex in the future.

Newly: a Stuffer Boy: and the first one Molly ever dated. The date was a one-time thing, and she hasn't heard from him since.

Q.: Q. is a member of Molly's family. Now in her 40s, Q. has been hit on by such diverse men as Sonny Bono, a famous football player and the artist Calder. Molly comes to her often for relationship advice, but, like the fantastic tools her namesake gives Bond before another adventure, they sometimes backfire.

Quin: a housemate: Looking like your typical twink, Quin has the savage temper which can only be developed by serving thousands of imbecile customers overpriced coffee each day. Just don't tell him you really asked for a latte when he has a can of whipped cream in his hand. He was one of Molly's housemates at the Mason during the summer of 2008.